Friday, December 20, 2013

Sipping Pina Coladas from the Skulls of Enemies

It seems I have activated a nerve with a Taser. Again.

For suggesting the people can leave a few drops of libation to the gods without drinking those drops themselves, I've been called many unsavory things of late..

Well, let me set the record straight.

I'm just like any other normal person. Except that I drink piña coladas from the skulls of my enemies, with bright paper umbrellas sticking out their ocular cavities. I keep packs of enslaved corgis in my basement cranking my spit of roasted sacrificial goat.  I urinate on homeless street kittens--the really cute kind with the abnormally large, sad eyes. I have considered taking up telemarketing as a hobby. I am the prototype for Joan Jett, Severus Snape, and Gru, so pass me a chianti and some fava beans. And I take a moment to pour out another piña colada in offering to my dark primordial gods of war, chaos, firmament, death, destruction, plague, holy dread, and fate.


I do much of my shopping at second-hand stores or from local artisans so I can reduce the support of sweat shops which are the modern-day equivalent of slavery. I recycle. I donate money to quality charities like the World Health Organization and local food pantries. I buy cloth that I have sourced to factories and agriculture that make no use of sweat shops and which do use better agricultural practices and fair trade. I make things, and sometimes I do without. I help out people where I can with sharing goods, donating money, and/or sharing hospitality. Sometimes I give food to homeless folks on the street. I even make offerings on behalf of those who are destitute and cannot make any offerings themselves. I hug old people and kids, and sometimes even people I don't like. I pray for people and the whole crazy state of affairs our world is in.

I'll leave you to sort out which is true.

So you just keep spouting your nonsense which makes you appear rabid and actually detracts from the causes you would champion. Casually flinging around a word like "racism" or "privilege" as conversation-enders when one just wants to discredit the other person because s/he just disagrees with that other person, detracts from issues regarding racism and privilege. In this circumstance using these terms is intended to manipulate people's emotions to override their common sense and discredit me. People don't like being manipulated. Worse, it detracts from situations where racism and privilege are occurring. (Just watch. I'm gauging that these folks will use the "Hitler defense" next in a cartoonish attempt to make me look like the mustache-twirling villain in the black hat while they're wearing the shiny Dudley Do-right sheriff star.It's a classic and unimaginative tactic.) You know, I almost find it amusing how you seem to think I'm your piñata-girl.

But let's be honest. This isn't about me at all. I'm just the local target. Really, it all comes down to how some polytheists have standards in worshiping deities, and how other people (often not even polytheists) believe that anything goes and they don't like hearing that others disagree with that. It's about how some folks think the deities are only in one's own head so it doesn't matter so long as you think happy thoughts, have a sincere heart, and sprinkle everything with a heavy dose of glitter and pseudo-psychological relativistic faux-academic post-modern bullsh!t. Disagreement is not oppression. The deities are not inhabitants or facets of your own mind. You're not at the epitome of creation. And sometimes (most times) you do not eat the food offerings made to the deities.

At any rate, the conflict and extra traffic open valuable conversations on topics of vital importance to polytheists--topics like the nature of offering, the nature of our communities, the natures of the deities, and so on.

Keep pouring it on and let me feast on those salty sweet crocodile tears...after all, they are the secret ingredient in my skull-dashed piña coladas.

If there are a few of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, here are a few helpful links:
This is my post which started it--advice on what to do if a god calls, and some suggestions on what to do if you really don't know that god and have no foundation to start from. My post also involves a word on making libations to the deities and not drinking said libations oneself.
Take a look at this interesting bit of locura in response to my post above.
There's an amazing rant against me here in the comments section of my response. 
Dver has a great article on the nature of offering. Feel free to read the not-so-great comments, though.
The Thracian's profanity laced tirade brought a curving smile to my day.
Sannion's post opens up some good inter-community dialogue.
And Galina drops the mic. In case you worried, "mic" (pronounced "mike") as I have used here is short for "microphone" and is not intended as a racial slur against the Irish.


  1. I still don't understand the backlash you've received for all of this. All you did was write a guideline. (Oh, the audacity!) It's like you said; "Disagreement is not oppression." But the way these people tell it, one would think you were busting down their doors and forcing them at gunpoint to change their religion. Because that's totally the same thing as writing in a blog. Right.

    1. I think that in that instance, I'm being used more as a symbol than interacted with as a person. Most of this really isn't about me at all.

  2. Tess, you are too true. Don"t let the macaroons get you down! [Not to be taken as a slur against Cocoanut cookies].

  3. Tess, you are too true. Don"t let the macaroons get you down! [Not to be taken as a slur against Cocoanut cookies].

    1. Mmmm...coconut cookies...agahaahagahhaa [more yummy noises]! Thanks, David. Alas, no coconut cookies were harmed in the making of this post. Although if I had some...

  4. "Except that I drink piña coladas from the skulls of my enemies, with bright paper umbrellas sticking out their ocular cavities."

    I always say that living well is the best revenge. ;)

    1. Chas, you are quite right on that account, and that has been a mode by which I have lived by. And lived well...

  5. So, quick question: if people aren't allowed to say "that's racist or classist," why do you get to call someone mentally disturbed/psychotic ("locura")?

    1. A sane person can make a crazy comment. Tess didn't call the person crazy, just the comment.

    2. Locura is madness.
      Loca is a animate feminine being who is mad.
      Chair is something to sit on or leave stacked with books that need re-shelving, or to break windows for a hasty exit in case of fire.
      Pterodactyl is a large flying dinosaur which has been extinct for a long time.
      Thought is the idea, not the thinker.
      Internet is a valuable tool one can use to look up words like locura, loca, chair, and pterodactyl.