Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Safety in Madness: A Dream

So, will the person who put the Dionysian blessing on the polytheists please come forward and say "hi." Yeah, I felt that this morning and it was incredibly powerful. Message received, thanks.

I dreamed that I was moving to a new house. The previous tenants were nearly done vacating, and I was doing a walk through in the house. The attic was covered in faux red brick wall finishes and had a giant what looked like a brick barbecue pit for a light fixture. The man who had supposedly spent time there before I came to the house had enjoyed the finishes and he enjoyed spending time with his dog up there. I hated the finishes. I blinked and when I looked back, the finishes were gone; so was any trace that that man had lived there, including place memory. I didn’t feel the person’s presence. It was like it didn’t happen. The walls were white now, though the windows on three of the four walls were still there. There was a package and I opened it. It turned out to be a package of women’s reproductive organs, mostly just uterus and ovaries, like an anatomical model cast in plastic. I thought it was odd and the item amused me. But there was some kind of house inspection coming and I had to hide the item or risk some uncomfortable explanations to which I wouldn’t have satisfactory answers. A girl also had showed up from next door; she had wanted some place to hang out and she used to come here sometimes when another person lived here. Her house was overcrowded and her family was too noisy.

I began to feel a presence in the room, as if someone had practiced frequently and honored a god frequently in that space. Some one had made the space important, almost sacred by working with a god there frequently. The inspection came and went, but one of the people posing as inspectors wanted to take the place away from me somehow, and he had some shady dealings. Even as I had been sensing that important happenings had occurred here, I became increasingly under the influence of the deity. My thought as I slipped under was, “Oh, so this is what the fellow felt like when his deity possessed him. Interesting.”

I felt protected, and I felt “safe” albeit in a daring and mad sort of way. "Safe" may not even be the right word--suffice it to say, I knew that I was in more danger from that which had taken possession of me and since that being didn't want me harmed, I would not be harmed. I didn't know what would happen to me, but I knew it was somehow "right". I bobbed to and fro, and I rolled and rolled over the floor. I had a companion with me who may have had an inkling, only an inkling of what was going on. I wanted to explain. I tried to explain. No words would come out. I had a vague ability to see what was going on around me, I had a vague connection to what was going on around me, but my actions were not my own and it was like being swept up in a powerful wave. 

The inspectors came again and all I could do was demonstrate madness the whole time. At one point, I think they wanted to harm me and my companion, but my madness held them back. They were frightened of me, or, more accurately, of the madness which my actions displayed.  I was only vaguely aware of what was happening. 

The girl was no longer the girl, but Allison Scagliotti, the actress. I kissed her ankles then kissed the backs of her knees passionately; she wore long pale sand-colored jeans. I stopped slowly, and I don’t know if I figured this or if the deity in me figured this, but there was some figuring that it would be in the best interest of all parties involved not to go further, but I felt was a pity, or the being that had possessed me felt it was a pity. This is unusual for me because I don't usually swing this way. Frankly, with the influence I was under, it didn't matter if the person was male or female.

Some idiot started to play some horrendous tune on a synthesizer keyboard, I don't know why. (And they thought *I* was mad in the dream.) The "song" sucked fiercely. I wondered what it would be like to jerk the keyboard out of the man's hands and throw it out the window, but I don't do that sort of thing. But, the influence came over me and communicated to me that "you want to know how it feels? Yes, of course, why not?" and it caused me to wrench away the keyboard and threw it out a window. I felt quite gleeful about the matter. 

I rolled around some more or turned in circles. I knew that the person who lived here before me had a much stronger connection to the deity than I had, and he could probably speak the deity’s words on a good day, but me, nope, I wasn’t ready for that, and I could barely make any sound. Because of his presence, I out “crazied” the bad guys and we were ok. I remember towards the end seeing a veil of the deity or seeing the deity as if through a veil, I saw an eye surrounded in darkness. The deity was dark, mysterious, powerful, intense, charismatic, and gave the appearance of insanity though he was in complete control the whole time. I was protected, those who were with me were protected. I woke up with the sense of the scenario still attached to me, still feeling the traces of having been possessed, and it was a good, albeit weird, sensation. I felt calm, relaxed, but a bit funky in the head.

"In a sky full of people only some want to fly
Isn't that crazy
In a world full of people only some want to fly
Isn't that crazy"

Today is
4 [Gapnu], Shanatu 85
It's been four days since the last chudthu (new moon). It's been 85 years since the rediscovery of the Canaanite city of Ugarit.

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